I am so sick of feeling this confusion this
lifeless beast that nibbles on my bones.
Like the fact that I am so afraid
of being like everyone else
that I do everything to be myself
and in so doing
It’s such a shame
no one wants
To be Charlie anymore.
Because conformity is a crime.
But it’s the crime that makes me feel fine
or like slime
yesterday I joked “I’m an Asian gone wrong,
a Jew with no talent.” Well, I can’t handle money
I’m no genius
But at least I’m an individual, right?
I’ve escaped the irreproachable stereotypes
of being smart
of having good work ethic
and I’m just throwing myself a pity party.
I mean, I’m so proud of being able to say I come
from all these places
having seen all these faces different
from all these peasants who have lived
one place their whole lives
Now, I know this makes no sense,
my thesis is all wrong,
but I guess, what I’m trying to say
Is that we all came from Adam and Eve
And I hate that we always say “Adam”
before “Eve” because religion isn’t part of the problem –
we are the problem, it’s just part of the equation.
“I get it you’re a feminist!”
when it’s convenient,
“Women can be serial killers too.
They can be rapists, and even bankers”
And this all sounds cruel.
Maybe I’m changing my mind, even as I write this.
But I really just meant to say
I’m confused about life
and that’s fine, because
I’m a teenager
And even saying that
makes me upset because all teenagers are
confused and maybe if I had my life
together people would look at me differently
but then again, look at you.
I think this all just came out,
because of social media
I’m not trying to bash social media
(now I’m realizing all my comments have disclaimers
attached to them) but the social experiments
little boys being asked to slap little girls
fat girl goes on Tinder date
it’s all just brainwashing trying
to pretend and to make sure
we’re not insane
it’s a sick cathartic experience
we just need confirmation
we’re GOOD PEOPLE
But when my cousins are being accused of
genocide! When my country is under constant threat.
Because the fear that I had this week
Walking in the metro, being evacuated
afraid to be shot
is the fear my cousins have every day
afraid of their children taking the bus.
Afraid, and confused.
And I’ll tell you why we commit these
“acts of genocide” it’s because this fear
has been passed down, epigenetically.
this fear has a name and I’m not writing
it down because this isn’t a poem about
the Holocaust, this poem isn’t about anything
really substantial at all. (There I am, putting myself
down again.) GENOCIDE is the deliberate
killing of a large group of people, especially
those of a particular ethnic group or nation.
We would not send our children
like lambs to the slaughter
if we weren’t trying to prevent
the last time we went
like lambs to the slaughter
have we forgotten? Have we forgotten that just
the other day we marched for the freedom of speech
but were we also marching for the Jews?
Would 1.5 million people demonstrate against
the murder of the Jews?
They certainly didn’t last time.
2,000 slaughtered this week in Nigeria?
Who walks for them?
The UN says that most of the Palestinian dead were civilians. Israel says the high civilian death toll was because of Hamas fighters launching attacks from residential areas, including schools and mosques, drawing return fire. Earlier this month Israel ordered a criminal investigation into five incidents in which civilians are believed to have died, and is investigating over 100 incidents in total.
So take us to court, Abbas!
Or don’t, you know we happen to have the best lawyers in the world.
I’m not trying to offend anyone in this room,
I know being offensive is now
something we can die for.
Gosh, I really didn’t mean to get carried away
My teachers say I have to organize my thoughts
but this week really got me thinking
and I won’t stay quiet anymore
I won’t stop myself from expressing my views
for fear of being called an “Apartheid endorser”.
I won’t conform. I won’t be the doormat anymore
I’m sick of thinking I don’t have the right to express
myself because I’m young. I’m done.